Hmmmm....
Racism...or a blind-folded knife throw???
It took me a long time to ponder over a certain time in the past two-three months, where a finite set of people were throwing Racism jabs at me(all indirect and subtle). I kept wondering where it must've started, why it led to people provoking the topic of racism, and why it finally led me to lose my cool and throw the worst kind of Racial statement at one provocateur, in public, least bothering about what the crowd thinks about me in the aftermath, but having that brief moment of yes-that-hit-real-hard-look on his face. But the whole issue has really hurt me. I don't believe in biases. I don't categorise, period. I won't even if genetics says there are differences.
So from my point of view, it all started when I was misinterpreted by a dear friend, lead on to her sharing her rage with her close buddy, who in turn made sure he keeps hitting me real hard(totally presumptious), which in turn made me hit him in response. ...and that still hurts... not that it really might be worrying them... but it still hurts...
So how do I cool myself down...hm?
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Friday, July 17, 2009
The Laughterical
The mysterious ways of the human kind provide so much entertainment and amusement to itself, that till the last of us exhales his/her last breath, humor shall survive. That brings me to this particular duo, siblings, brother-sister, whichever way you'd like to interprete their existence on Earth.
With a gap of two years, that seemed so non-existent, as kids we were teased of being identical twins. ...and so it seems, we carry with us a lot of similarities, behaviour, attitudes, open minds, the slouch, the talk, a tinge of hypocrisy, acknowledging imperfection, the cycling, the philosophical debates, ...oh yes!!...and the laugh!!
The brain freaks(psychologists et al) say each human has his own laugh, like laughter defines the being. We siblings, giggled a lot as toddlers. Time grew us up too fast, and it seemed to me, it took away my signature laugh with him. Time is 'him' because I find 'him' a little masochistic, and I can't deal with him! Anyway, took me a few years to actually realise, that I hadn't laughed out loud for probably half a decade. Felt so stupid and totally blank(and totally conscious and embarrassed), for so long, that I didn't remember, had I even smiled at anything funny or a feel-good moment? ...maybe I did, maybe I didn't...I'd laugh inside, on my own. How doesn't matter then! It's so much easier. But laughing out loud?..in society?...now THAT, is a big problem...more so, when you become so aware of it!
But now that I had totally lost SL(signature laugh), every moment kept me perplexed and nervous, and I felt like I was the entire catalogue of Types of laughter sung by Mary Poppins!!! Remember the song?
Usually I come up with a combo or a triad of different laughs. The soundless body shaking, the hissing snake, a loud single jerk of a laugh, the mime, the hmm-hmmm-hmm-hmm, the plain giggly-wiggly,the changing pitch-lowest bass to girly high-pitch, the thigh tapping, the hehehe-clap, the donkey laugh,a laugh-laugh-single-snort, the hyena... Now, for the sibling trademark!!! - the nose-holding-gigglingshoulder-shrugging laugh... We've got such big noses, that any excessive laughing scares us into grabbing the nose, lest it falls off!!!!
ah, the big family secret's out! D'jay, don't bump me off!
Hehehehe-shoulder shrug-nose grab.
With a gap of two years, that seemed so non-existent, as kids we were teased of being identical twins. ...and so it seems, we carry with us a lot of similarities, behaviour, attitudes, open minds, the slouch, the talk, a tinge of hypocrisy, acknowledging imperfection, the cycling, the philosophical debates, ...oh yes!!...and the laugh!!
The brain freaks(psychologists et al) say each human has his own laugh, like laughter defines the being. We siblings, giggled a lot as toddlers. Time grew us up too fast, and it seemed to me, it took away my signature laugh with him. Time is 'him' because I find 'him' a little masochistic, and I can't deal with him! Anyway, took me a few years to actually realise, that I hadn't laughed out loud for probably half a decade. Felt so stupid and totally blank(and totally conscious and embarrassed), for so long, that I didn't remember, had I even smiled at anything funny or a feel-good moment? ...maybe I did, maybe I didn't...I'd laugh inside, on my own. How doesn't matter then! It's so much easier. But laughing out loud?..in society?...now THAT, is a big problem...more so, when you become so aware of it!
But now that I had totally lost SL(signature laugh), every moment kept me perplexed and nervous, and I felt like I was the entire catalogue of Types of laughter sung by Mary Poppins!!! Remember the song?
Usually I come up with a combo or a triad of different laughs. The soundless body shaking, the hissing snake, a loud single jerk of a laugh, the mime, the hmm-hmmm-hmm-hmm, the plain giggly-wiggly,the changing pitch-lowest bass to girly high-pitch, the thigh tapping, the hehehe-clap, the donkey laugh,a laugh-laugh-single-snort, the hyena... Now, for the sibling trademark!!! - the nose-holding-gigglingshoulder-shrugging laugh... We've got such big noses, that any excessive laughing scares us into grabbing the nose, lest it falls off!!!!
ah, the big family secret's out! D'jay, don't bump me off!
Hehehehe-shoulder shrug-nose grab.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Trust once lost is lost forever...
She was a happy child, loved prancing around, made the silliest of goofy situations possible, loved to see people laugh and was the happiest when she could make 'em laugh.
The day came like a darkstorm, when every ounce of happiness came crashing down, no sign of trust and belonging visible. She lost faith in her own life.
That day she knew life as it was would never be the same again.
...wait a minute haven't we heard these same words repeated over and over again in tales and yores for the past few centuries in all of our human languages!!!
Gosh!!!We're surely going around in circles and whirlpools and eddies of Time, aren't we?
Will we ever learn, from the past, ever???
She had read those words too....But never thought they would be out of her own experience, her current state of mind. But will she be one of the Survivors and Warriors; or will she give in to the pressure of Sadism and Vile people????Does she have the strength to face the Storms that will try to strike again once they know the loopholes in her life?
Right now. She's giving up. She certainly is. Because the body is giving up. She can't stand the pain inside. The breaking and crumpling is terrifyingly painful. She held out for a long time now. Almost a decade...
But she couldn't dare include the one person into either her past or her fears. She didn't want the one man she didn't mind calling her cuddly wuddly Bear, to be included into the kind of men, who were bothering her.
...and she was only speculating what was happening behind her back. She knew it was vicious and she'd have to leave the place she loved soon. It is still unimaginable how people could come up with such vile and cruel acts. She couldn't see the reasons for the necessity and desperation they had.
....to be continued...
The day came like a darkstorm, when every ounce of happiness came crashing down, no sign of trust and belonging visible. She lost faith in her own life.
That day she knew life as it was would never be the same again.
...wait a minute haven't we heard these same words repeated over and over again in tales and yores for the past few centuries in all of our human languages!!!
Gosh!!!We're surely going around in circles and whirlpools and eddies of Time, aren't we?
Will we ever learn, from the past, ever???
She had read those words too....But never thought they would be out of her own experience, her current state of mind. But will she be one of the Survivors and Warriors; or will she give in to the pressure of Sadism and Vile people????Does she have the strength to face the Storms that will try to strike again once they know the loopholes in her life?
Right now. She's giving up. She certainly is. Because the body is giving up. She can't stand the pain inside. The breaking and crumpling is terrifyingly painful. She held out for a long time now. Almost a decade...
But she couldn't dare include the one person into either her past or her fears. She didn't want the one man she didn't mind calling her cuddly wuddly Bear, to be included into the kind of men, who were bothering her.
...and she was only speculating what was happening behind her back. She knew it was vicious and she'd have to leave the place she loved soon. It is still unimaginable how people could come up with such vile and cruel acts. She couldn't see the reasons for the necessity and desperation they had.
....to be continued...
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
अन्नदाते आपले जपूया रे...
आम्ही गेलो होतो बघायला 'टीनग्या'.
थेअटरच्या बाहेर आल्यावर जरा 'mixed emotions' होते.
Suicides च्या बातम्या वाचल्यावर जीव नको नकोसेच व्हायचे. पण शेत्कर्यांचे जीवन कसे आहे हे बघायला सीनेमा बघू नए. प्रात्येकिष्क गावांमध्ये जाऊन घ्यावी.
'टीनग्या'ची कहाणी फारच हळू होती.
इतके हळूू आपण जगत नाही. लहान मूलं आपली emotions स्व्भावीक्पणे देतात. त्यांना ताणलं तर ते जरा artificial वाटायला लागतं.
मूळ उद्देश पुढे जरुर मांडू शकले director, पण कँमेराचा फोकस कुठे उडून गेला काय माहीती.
बर प्रत्येक पात्राच्या वेदना अत्यंत ताण्ल्या सारख्या वाट्ल्या.
असो, एकूण अर्थ कळाय्चा तो समजून घेणार्यान्नी समजून घेतला.
आपण्हून समजून घ्यावे आणी सीनेमा हॉल मधून नीघावे।
नवीन अभीनेते व दीगदर्शक असल्याचे ज़रा फारच जाणवते। Criticism च्या पलीकडे बघीतले तर याहून खूप मद्तीची गरज आहे शेत्क्र्यान्ना, हे लोकांनी जाणले तर बरे होय। हातावर हात ठेउन काही होत नाही.आपण सर्वांनी काही केले पाहिजे हेच खरे ...
'अन्नदाते आपले जपूया रे...'
पीक वाढवीतो, जाणून घे रे
अन्नदाता हाच तो रे
भारताचा मान हाच रे
भुकेने कासावीस त्याचीच पोरे
शेती हडपून ईमारती उभार्तोस कसा रे
स्वताहाच्याच मुलांना उद्याला तू
उपाशी सोडतोय्स रे
जमीन नाहीतर शेती कशी तू
सांग सम्जाउन आम्हाला रे
पीक वाढवीतो, जाणून घे रे
अन्नदाता हाच तो रे
भारताचा मान हाच रे
भुकेने कासावीस त्याचीच पोरे
पैश्याचा हव्यासी तूच तो रे
पृथ्वी बांधून नेऊ शक्शील का रे
नेशील तरी जाशील तू कुठे
येतील तुझी पापे तुझ्याच पाठोपाठी
पीक वाढवीतो, जाणून घे रे
अन्नदाता हाच तो रे
भारताचा मान हाच रे
भारताचा मान हाच रे
गुरमीत वीचार्शील कोण मी
एका अन्नदात्याचीच नात मी!
जुई
थेअटरच्या बाहेर आल्यावर जरा 'mixed emotions' होते.
Suicides च्या बातम्या वाचल्यावर जीव नको नकोसेच व्हायचे. पण शेत्कर्यांचे जीवन कसे आहे हे बघायला सीनेमा बघू नए. प्रात्येकिष्क गावांमध्ये जाऊन घ्यावी.
'टीनग्या'ची कहाणी फारच हळू होती.
इतके हळूू आपण जगत नाही. लहान मूलं आपली emotions स्व्भावीक्पणे देतात. त्यांना ताणलं तर ते जरा artificial वाटायला लागतं.
मूळ उद्देश पुढे जरुर मांडू शकले director, पण कँमेराचा फोकस कुठे उडून गेला काय माहीती.
बर प्रत्येक पात्राच्या वेदना अत्यंत ताण्ल्या सारख्या वाट्ल्या.
असो, एकूण अर्थ कळाय्चा तो समजून घेणार्यान्नी समजून घेतला.
आपण्हून समजून घ्यावे आणी सीनेमा हॉल मधून नीघावे।
नवीन अभीनेते व दीगदर्शक असल्याचे ज़रा फारच जाणवते। Criticism च्या पलीकडे बघीतले तर याहून खूप मद्तीची गरज आहे शेत्क्र्यान्ना, हे लोकांनी जाणले तर बरे होय। हातावर हात ठेउन काही होत नाही.आपण सर्वांनी काही केले पाहिजे हेच खरे ...
'अन्नदाते आपले जपूया रे...'
पीक वाढवीतो, जाणून घे रे
अन्नदाता हाच तो रे
भारताचा मान हाच रे
भुकेने कासावीस त्याचीच पोरे
शेती हडपून ईमारती उभार्तोस कसा रे
स्वताहाच्याच मुलांना उद्याला तू
उपाशी सोडतोय्स रे
जमीन नाहीतर शेती कशी तू
सांग सम्जाउन आम्हाला रे
पीक वाढवीतो, जाणून घे रे
अन्नदाता हाच तो रे
भारताचा मान हाच रे
भुकेने कासावीस त्याचीच पोरे
पैश्याचा हव्यासी तूच तो रे
पृथ्वी बांधून नेऊ शक्शील का रे
नेशील तरी जाशील तू कुठे
येतील तुझी पापे तुझ्याच पाठोपाठी
पीक वाढवीतो, जाणून घे रे
अन्नदाता हाच तो रे
भारताचा मान हाच रे
भारताचा मान हाच रे
गुरमीत वीचार्शील कोण मी
एका अन्नदात्याचीच नात मी!
जुई
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Protesting in Song
You have no integrity
you step on other's land
and call it your own
Your hungry for more
your greed just never ends
it'll end with your life
don't you realise
your hurting your child
do you think he will
live peacefully
on all your crimes
you have no integrity
you step on other's land
and call it your own
The greed just stinks in your sty
your pigs they won't lie
even if you do
your the one with no integrity
Greedy pigs they stink
you have no integrity
leave them be
those who live and let live
for how long will it be
that you keep cheating the honest men
you have no integrity
you step on other's land
and call it your own
you step on other's land
and call it your own
Your hungry for more
your greed just never ends
it'll end with your life
don't you realise
your hurting your child
do you think he will
live peacefully
on all your crimes
you have no integrity
you step on other's land
and call it your own
The greed just stinks in your sty
your pigs they won't lie
even if you do
your the one with no integrity
Greedy pigs they stink
you have no integrity
leave them be
those who live and let live
for how long will it be
that you keep cheating the honest men
you have no integrity
you step on other's land
and call it your own
©Copyright Juilie Thakur April 13, 2008
Thursday, January 3, 2008
the 2nd day of 2008
The fear in those eyes
The innocence in their eyes
The deep piercing anxious gaze
asking for help asking for comfort
Yet my hands are bound
I don't see the chains
I don't understand
Should be able to rush to the darlings
Reach out to them and say
Its alright now
Hush!I'm here now
Don't cry dear
I'll be near
What goes around comes around
The more I see the globe
in it's entirety, I come back to the same point...the point of Nowhere!
Yet I feel like I've been everywhere
and I'm tired now
There's not much I can do
Like I'm a puppet
to rust I'm dangling left
and I go right!
This was all part of the plan
there is never going to be anything different
from what I see here...nothing new...nothing inspiring...nothing inventive...nothing creative
Yet those
the ones that are sleeping hungry today
let them have food I pray
in God though I do not believe
I have found a new way
stay away from hocus-pocus yet pray
that one day will be the day of realization for many
A day of my dreams that in reality I will relive!
The innocence in their eyes
The deep piercing anxious gaze
asking for help asking for comfort
Yet my hands are bound
I don't see the chains
I don't understand
Should be able to rush to the darlings
Reach out to them and say
Its alright now
Hush!I'm here now
Don't cry dear
I'll be near
What goes around comes around
The more I see the globe
in it's entirety, I come back to the same point...the point of Nowhere!
Yet I feel like I've been everywhere
and I'm tired now
There's not much I can do
Like I'm a puppet
to rust I'm dangling left
and I go right!
This was all part of the plan
there is never going to be anything different
from what I see here...nothing new...nothing inspiring...nothing inventive...nothing creative
Yet those
the ones that are sleeping hungry today
let them have food I pray
in God though I do not believe
I have found a new way
stay away from hocus-pocus yet pray
that one day will be the day of realization for many
A day of my dreams that in reality I will relive!
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
BIG MISTAKE
you know i'm a big mistake
the sun shines bright and i cry
the rain pours hell and i smile
i weep when i'm happy
i laugh when i'm sad
you know i'm a big mistake
you know i'm a big mistake
i shouldn't have been here in the first place
i couldn't give my whole anyway
you wouldn't care about it anyway
you know i'm a big mistake
you shouldn't follow in my wake
you know i'm a big mistake
i'll turn around one day
you know i won't look back for you
i'll love you for eternity
one day though
you'll have to let me go
'cause i'm a big mistake
i'm a big mistake
the sun shines bright and i cry
the rain pours hell and i smile
i weep when i'm happy
i laugh when i'm sad
you know i'm a big mistake
you know i'm a big mistake
i shouldn't have been here in the first place
i couldn't give my whole anyway
you wouldn't care about it anyway
you know i'm a big mistake
you shouldn't follow in my wake
you know i'm a big mistake
i'll turn around one day
you know i won't look back for you
i'll love you for eternity
one day though
you'll have to let me go
'cause i'm a big mistake
i'm a big mistake
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