The mind's wanderings take you places you always wanted to be, takes you places you've never been before...intellect brings you back to where you are standing.
Friday, August 22, 2014
He can't land! She can't fly!
Monday, April 15, 2013
De-programming in Style
curled up in the foetal
to know not to know
to know i do not know
to know the beauty of probability
numbers are wonders
the hundreds in solvability
the open roads i see diverge
breathtaking views beyond
a free world unknown to many
i sleep in the day to hide from the misery
the pain of helpless chains
digging into the skin in vain
uncalm waters
unpleasant souls
i see her wishing for happiness
then shutdown the doors to it
the fear and the pain
thoughts tire me out
i close my eyes
and draw up the list
the ones i set free
they shine even in slumber
one last soul to save
i have to let go
for i have a failure
i cry and scream
for in my chains
have hurt the ones who
took me up by their side
the abundance of failure this
is in the wrangling wrists of the watchers
as long as their bloodshot eyes
are prying kept upon this one soul
the deep recesses are in clear view, of the ghoul
i shut my eyes and see me in deep waters
bio luminescence and light specks critters
i push up and out straight into the wide skies
amongst the birds and my skypeople
we look down as we whoosh away
at the gleaming colors of our beautiful home
she won't die
she will change
she will spew us all out
i shudder with her in her anger
i hurt when she hurts
the killing has begun
i can only weep with her for a moment
for i am a human
she is not
i get moments
and she can't rot
Monday, July 19, 2010
Singing Hearts
He sings Tenor when I sing the Bass!
I look up to him
the glowing smile enlightens me
Anger comes to him easily
But when he simmers down
is the warm comfortable blanket
I dream he is here
With me oh, so dear!
The songs we write
Our hearts sing wild
When joys spread around
giving Happiness in sound
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
It hurts when...
Racism...or a blind-folded knife throw???
It took me a long time to ponder over a certain time in the past two-three months, where a finite set of people were throwing Racism jabs at me(all indirect and subtle). I kept wondering where it must've started, why it led to people provoking the topic of racism, and why it finally led me to lose my cool and throw the worst kind of Racial statement at one provocateur, in public, least bothering about what the crowd thinks about me in the aftermath, but having that brief moment of yes-that-hit-real-hard-look on his face. But the whole issue has really hurt me. I don't believe in biases. I don't categorise, period. I won't even if genetics says there are differences.
So from my point of view, it all started when I was misinterpreted by a dear friend, lead on to her sharing her rage with her close buddy, who in turn made sure he keeps hitting me real hard(totally presumptious), which in turn made me hit him in response. ...and that still hurts... not that it really might be worrying them... but it still hurts...
So how do I cool myself down...hm?
Friday, July 17, 2009
The Laughterical
With a gap of two years, that seemed so non-existent, as kids we were teased of being identical twins. ...and so it seems, we carry with us a lot of similarities, behaviour, attitudes, open minds, the slouch, the talk, a tinge of hypocrisy, acknowledging imperfection, the cycling, the philosophical debates, ...oh yes!!...and the laugh!!
The brain freaks(psychologists et al) say each human has his own laugh, like laughter defines the being. We siblings, giggled a lot as toddlers. Time grew us up too fast, and it seemed to me, it took away my signature laugh with him. Time is 'him' because I find 'him' a little masochistic, and I can't deal with him! Anyway, took me a few years to actually realise, that I hadn't laughed out loud for probably half a decade. Felt so stupid and totally blank(and totally conscious and embarrassed), for so long, that I didn't remember, had I even smiled at anything funny or a feel-good moment? ...maybe I did, maybe I didn't...I'd laugh inside, on my own. How doesn't matter then! It's so much easier. But laughing out loud?..in society?...now THAT, is a big problem...more so, when you become so aware of it!
But now that I had totally lost SL(signature laugh), every moment kept me perplexed and nervous, and I felt like I was the entire catalogue of Types of laughter sung by Mary Poppins!!! Remember the song?
Usually I come up with a combo or a triad of different laughs. The soundless body shaking, the hissing snake, a loud single jerk of a laugh, the mime, the hmm-hmmm-hmm-hmm, the plain giggly-wiggly,the changing pitch-lowest bass to girly high-pitch, the thigh tapping, the hehehe-clap, the donkey laugh,a laugh-laugh-single-snort, the hyena... Now, for the sibling trademark!!! - the nose-holding-gigglingshoulder-shrugging laugh... We've got such big noses, that any excessive laughing scares us into grabbing the nose, lest it falls off!!!!
ah, the big family secret's out! D'jay, don't bump me off!
Hehehehe-shoulder shrug-nose grab.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Trust once lost is lost forever...
The day came like a darkstorm, when every ounce of happiness came crashing down, no sign of trust and belonging visible. She lost faith in her own life.
That day she knew life as it was would never be the same again.
...wait a minute haven't we heard these same words repeated over and over again in tales and yores for the past few centuries in all of our human languages!!!
Gosh!!!We're surely going around in circles and whirlpools and eddies of Time, aren't we?
Will we ever learn, from the past, ever???
She had read those words too....But never thought they would be out of her own experience, her current state of mind. But will she be one of the Survivors and Warriors; or will she give in to the pressure of Sadism and Vile people????Does she have the strength to face the Storms that will try to strike again once they know the loopholes in her life?
Right now. She's giving up. She certainly is. Because the body is giving up. She can't stand the pain inside. The breaking and crumpling is terrifyingly painful. She held out for a long time now. Almost a decade...
But she couldn't dare include the one person into either her past or her fears. She didn't want the one man she didn't mind calling her cuddly wuddly Bear, to be included into the kind of men, who were bothering her.
...and she was only speculating what was happening behind her back. She knew it was vicious and she'd have to leave the place she loved soon. It is still unimaginable how people could come up with such vile and cruel acts. She couldn't see the reasons for the necessity and desperation they had.
....to be continued...
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
अन्नदाते आपले जपूया रे...
थेअटरच्या बाहेर आल्यावर जरा 'mixed emotions' होते.
Suicides च्या बातम्या वाचल्यावर जीव नको नकोसेच व्हायचे. पण शेत्कर्यांचे जीवन कसे आहे हे बघायला सीनेमा बघू नए. प्रात्येकिष्क गावांमध्ये जाऊन घ्यावी.
'टीनग्या'ची कहाणी फारच हळू होती.
इतके हळूू आपण जगत नाही. लहान मूलं आपली emotions स्व्भावीक्पणे देतात. त्यांना ताणलं तर ते जरा artificial वाटायला लागतं.
मूळ उद्देश पुढे जरुर मांडू शकले director, पण कँमेराचा फोकस कुठे उडून गेला काय माहीती.
बर प्रत्येक पात्राच्या वेदना अत्यंत ताण्ल्या सारख्या वाट्ल्या.
असो, एकूण अर्थ कळाय्चा तो समजून घेणार्यान्नी समजून घेतला.
आपण्हून समजून घ्यावे आणी सीनेमा हॉल मधून नीघावे।
नवीन अभीनेते व दीगदर्शक असल्याचे ज़रा फारच जाणवते। Criticism च्या पलीकडे बघीतले तर याहून खूप मद्तीची गरज आहे शेत्क्र्यान्ना, हे लोकांनी जाणले तर बरे होय। हातावर हात ठेउन काही होत नाही.आपण सर्वांनी काही केले पाहिजे हेच खरे ...
'अन्नदाते आपले जपूया रे...'
पीक वाढवीतो, जाणून घे रे
अन्नदाता हाच तो रे
भारताचा मान हाच रे
भुकेने कासावीस त्याचीच पोरे
शेती हडपून ईमारती उभार्तोस कसा रे
स्वताहाच्याच मुलांना उद्याला तू
उपाशी सोडतोय्स रे
जमीन नाहीतर शेती कशी तू
सांग सम्जाउन आम्हाला रे
पीक वाढवीतो, जाणून घे रे
अन्नदाता हाच तो रे
भारताचा मान हाच रे
भुकेने कासावीस त्याचीच पोरे
पैश्याचा हव्यासी तूच तो रे
पृथ्वी बांधून नेऊ शक्शील का रे
नेशील तरी जाशील तू कुठे
येतील तुझी पापे तुझ्याच पाठोपाठी
पीक वाढवीतो, जाणून घे रे
अन्नदाता हाच तो रे
भारताचा मान हाच रे
भारताचा मान हाच रे
गुरमीत वीचार्शील कोण मी
एका अन्नदात्याचीच नात मी!
जुई
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Protesting in Song
you step on other's land
and call it your own
Your hungry for more
your greed just never ends
it'll end with your life
don't you realise
your hurting your child
do you think he will
live peacefully
on all your crimes
you have no integrity
you step on other's land
and call it your own
The greed just stinks in your sty
your pigs they won't lie
even if you do
your the one with no integrity
Greedy pigs they stink
you have no integrity
leave them be
those who live and let live
for how long will it be
that you keep cheating the honest men
you have no integrity
you step on other's land
and call it your own
©Copyright Juilie Thakur April 13, 2008
Thursday, January 3, 2008
the 2nd day of 2008
The innocence in their eyes
The deep piercing anxious gaze
asking for help asking for comfort
Yet my hands are bound
I don't see the chains
I don't understand
Should be able to rush to the darlings
Reach out to them and say
Its alright now
Hush!I'm here now
Don't cry dear
I'll be near
What goes around comes around
The more I see the globe
in it's entirety, I come back to the same point...the point of Nowhere!
Yet I feel like I've been everywhere
and I'm tired now
There's not much I can do
Like I'm a puppet
to rust I'm dangling left
and I go right!
This was all part of the plan
there is never going to be anything different
from what I see here...nothing new...nothing inspiring...nothing inventive...nothing creative
Yet those
the ones that are sleeping hungry today
let them have food I pray
in God though I do not believe
I have found a new way
stay away from hocus-pocus yet pray
that one day will be the day of realization for many
A day of my dreams that in reality I will relive!
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
BIG MISTAKE
the sun shines bright and i cry
the rain pours hell and i smile
i weep when i'm happy
i laugh when i'm sad
you know i'm a big mistake
you know i'm a big mistake
i shouldn't have been here in the first place
i couldn't give my whole anyway
you wouldn't care about it anyway
you know i'm a big mistake
you shouldn't follow in my wake
you know i'm a big mistake
i'll turn around one day
you know i won't look back for you
i'll love you for eternity
one day though
you'll have to let me go
'cause i'm a big mistake
i'm a big mistake
Friday, November 23, 2007
the move from zing zang boom
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Paranoia
you see its not just you who's paranoid
I'm too
fear the must have for paralysis
i have no inkling how many are aware
..I am paralyzed
thought process works fine
this is a kind of physical paralysis
it is hard to convince myself to speak
speak out my thoughts and opinions
the reason is fear
fear of being plagiarized
fear of being slandered again
fear of being black-marked again
fear of being threatened with death again
fear of being forced upon by bullies
fear of a past wanting to come back
fear of those disgusting tongue-waggers dancing on my life
fear of hurting my people from anger and rage filled over those assholes I mentioned above
fear of people intruding into every minute of my life
fear of those people cooking up their pathetic stories
fear of people's envy
all because I've seen jealous people ruin my life
all because those cooked up stories about me reached my ears
all because those vacant threats made by brutal people are very impacting on a child's mind
all because I was a witness to that violence and threats at that young age
all because I'm forced to not forget my past
all because I considered those who thought they were enemies, as my dearest friends
all because I have lost the trust in human beings to remember the beauty of life
all because I have lost the trust in humans that they will not hurt me again
all because I don't understand how a person who does not know you well, holds a grudge on you
all because I still cannot comprehend why anyone slanders without reason
the more physically paralysed I am, the less use I make of my intelligence
if this is what they who did what they did when they did anything concerning hurting my life
..it seems like they have succeeded.
Let them know whoever they are, that their goal has been achieved.
many told me to ignore it
many told me we do not have the time to think so much about others
but no...everybody has time's reins in their hands
if you can find time to ask a person's life in detail, if you have time to read a biography, if you have time to gossip, you have time to bitch about someone,..then, yes, you do have time enough to hint to people, that one particular person isn't what seems to be..then those "duh" people start looking from your perspective...you see because everybody is paranoid..so everybody does not believe in what he sees or hears...nobody believes in his own ability to gauge a personality...nobody sees that he/she can make decisions and conclusions by him/herself.
so those who slander, just love the idea of bitching and gossiping...that way, the more they talk the more people will think he/she knows more, the more i-want-spoon-fed-answers kind of people believe in words without clarifying...that way, the more the people they gossip with, more the number of people will have heard the same story, confirming that even the most skeptical mind will believe in the newly cooked up story.
I haven't been able to ignore such people...because I still can't find out the reason why they waste their time in crapping lives..Is it an easy way to succeed in their lives? Do they regard people as obstacles in their paths, and so ruining a person's reputation, deletes that person from their so-called 'obstacle list'? Probably, those who live for competition, are the ones who are insecure. Probably, its the insecurity (paranoia?) that leads them to their follies and vices, jealousy and envy, hatred, grudges and greed.
In school years, I used to feel ashamed of myself for not feeling angry towards those who ruined the happiness of my family. I have always felt pity for such people, for they have never been able to think beyond. They cannot accommodate the Universe in their lives. But now after a decade of being in their constant intrusion I only fill with anger and react with rage, when they attempt to prod and poke and trample upon me and my family again. After a spite, I realise I still don't hate them, and the only change is that now I can react and shut their traps myself.
Yes, I know I'm being altruistic. But I can feel pain, yet no hatred. Shouldn't that mean that you CAN love everyone, you CAN love EVERY being, your love can be UNIVERSAL?